When the news dee jays have nothing to say, they say it a lot, a whole lot. They give us a heaping, steaming, bucketful-o'-nothing, over and over and over, 24/7. They blanket the Tee Vee Machine, the Radio Machine, the Internets Machine, you name it, they're on it.
Here are just a few of the cyclical, meaningless stories that are making the rounds, and a-rounds, and a-rounds these days:
Ohboyohboyohboy! Prince William is getting married! Finally, we can ignore bloody wars and infuriatingly, persistently bad economy, and shirk responsibility for pesky things like investigative reporting and fact checking by over-hyping a storyline that can be repeated ad nauseam for weeks! With visuals! And speculation! And a countdown clock! And a decent wall-to-wall substitute for "Lockup!" Weeee!
Will Haley Barbour run? Yes! He will! No! He won't!
Oh Em Gee, Trumpety Trumperson has a Tee Vee show, funny hair, AND he's a racist ass! Great draw, perfect for some ratings, we need ratings! I know, we'll talk about birthers and Trump and Trump maybe running for president and Trump definitely not running for president and more birthers and more vile Trump! Jon Stewart:
"They have to put Donald Trump on every show spewing the craziest shit he can think of, because Donald's poll numbers are high. Mostly because they keep putting him on television to spew the craziest shit he can think of."
This isn't just a vicious cycle, it's a vicious vicious cycle.
Let's not forget those polls! More polls! Polls of poll numbers. Polls don't count. Polls DO count. Polls are meaningless! Polls mean everything!
Glenn Beck said something stupid and inane! Rush Limbaugh said something inane and stupid! They both lied! They always lie! And yet, we still give them and their lies air time.
Lindsay LohanLindsayLohanLindsayLohanLindsayLohanLindsayLohan!
Rand Paul may run! No, RON Paul. No, Paul Paul! Someone named Paul may, or may not, run for president. Stay tuned! He may announce any second.... whoever it is... that he's forming an exploratory committee to explore whether or not he should announce an exploratory committee. What a cliffhanger!
Tornado! Earthquake! Fire! Cyclone! Ice storm! Rain storm! Snow storm! No, Snowmageddon! No, Weathermageddon. No. EVERYthingmageddon! Mageddonmageddon, yes! That'll work. Off. The. Chart. Nielsens!
Nuclear meltdown! Political meltdown! Celebrity meltdown! Meltdown meltdown!
Huff puff! Pant! Pant!
And so it goes....
The post Freedom of the drek appeared first on The Political Carnival.